Don't eat the yellow snow.
I mean really, you don't know where I've been...
| ive been gone |
| 12.17.04 (3:19 pm) |
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reason for my long absence. my father passed away after a short battle with cancer. he died the day after thanksgiving. i still cant believe hes gone. i will return. not with more contests and jokes, at least night right away. but i will be back to maybe, just mabye, pass on some wisdom. i am probably older than most on here, and i have been there and back again, to paraphase a great series of movies and books. perhaps i can help. - iSpork |
| 1 Comments |
| QUIZ ME BABYYYY |
| 09.15.04 (6:39 pm) |
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Ok, for an undertermined amount of TBucks, who said these immortal words. (Points for both speakers, bonus points for additional info.) First Speaker: "Why as there BACON IN THE SOAP!" Second Speaker: "I MADE IT MYSELF!" Extra points awarded for whoever knows what term "First Speaker" usually uses for the word soap. Good luck. They are going to get harder ya know. I may pull some reeeeeeeeally obscure stuff from out my hat. :)) |
| 4 Comments |
| Quick quiz |
| 08.28.04 (6:03 pm) |
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Who uttered these words? "I turn him into a flea. Then I'll put it in a box. Then I'll put it in another box and I'll mail it to myself and when it arrives I'll HIT IT WITH A HAMMER! AAAHAHAHAHAHAH!" Of course, this may not be accurate as to the exact words, but hey. Might be some tBucks in it for the winner. |
| 4 Comments |
| Steel Erection |
| 07.11.04 (12:01 am) |
| [image]iSpork_691642757.jpg[/image] |
| 0 Comments |
| It's a busy day in Busytown |
| 05.07.04 (3:53 pm) |
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[image]iSpork_1362816943.jpg[/image] Holy crap. It's been forever since I logged onto tBlog. I have been so busy at work. Just to recap for those who don't know, I now work at a newspaper designing and typesetting advertisements. I also pick up some extra hours helping out the inserting department. They are the ones who put those annoying inserts into your paper. You know, the kind that fall out and you never read anyway? Grocery stores, furniture stores, flyers...etc. Well, we are in the midst of putting together (the design and typeset part) of another special section to the paper. This means pretty much creating a whole other newspaper besides the regular ones (there are two we make ourselves, other we just print). So I get some great overtime, but it takes it toll. I don't get time to do other things, like write in my blog. I just finished 47+ hours of work and now it's time for a weekend off. Whew! :D And gas is up to and exceeding 2.00 a gallon now. Yikes! :? Good thing I'm not driving over an hour to work each day...I can walk to work most days. Wheeeeeeeee! Have a good one and HAPPY MOTHERS DAY! |
| 1 Comments |
| whoop, dere it is... |
| 04.05.04 (7:36 pm) |
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Yeah, nuttin new. 'Cept my youngest peed on my keyboard. Joy. :roll: |
| 5 Comments |
| wha? |
| 03.09.04 (7:57 pm) |
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now why does my header always look like crap? :?: |
| 8 Comments |
| 10 lbs of crap... |
| 03.09.04 (7:04 pm) |
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[image]iSpork_1362816943.jpg[/image] It's been said, where I work, that many of our projects are like trying to fit 10 lbs. of "crap" into a 5 lb. bag. This is true sometimes. Trying to fit all the text that a clien wants into a small, small space can be exasperating. "But I can't read such small type!" - Well then, next time don't try to fit a freakin' novel into a 2 inch by 2 inch square. Duh. "My picture looks all fuzzy!" - You gave me a grainy, photo-copied .jpg muddy pixlated 3 micron big picture...fool. But this is rare. For the most part it's not that bad. But then... came a new challenge. ...I don't even know how to describe it. It's not that it's 10 lbs in a 5 lb bag...it's more like...trying to take apart a car that is on 4 wheels, and rebuilding it pointing up at the sky. Whoooo. I'm still not completely done, and I started Monday! (not that it's been the only project I've been working on, but still...) :roll: I know, this may seem like complaining, but I actually love it. It's fun. It's a challenge. wheeeeeeeeeeee. :lol: |
| 0 Comments |
| life, the universe, and nipples... |
| 02.15.04 (8:22 pm) |
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:D Ah yes, I better write something. I would dearly love to get on here more often, just seems that there is never time to do so. I don't even have time now. So just a few quick updates. I have a great regular job, monday thru thursday. You knew that. I'm looking for additional work to make up for that lost day. You knew that too. I made some moolah freelancing a couple of custom caricatures. You didn't know that. :lol: And just for the record, I'm all for Janet showing her nipple on tv. Nipples are good. Unless it would be Ed Asner. Now that would just be wrong. :lol: Anywhooooooooooo. It's frickin cold here. Snow piled up to my mid thighs. . . . I really should wear pants. heh Smell ya later. [image]iSpork_575418564.gif[/image] |
| 6 Comments |
| still lookin... |
| 01.25.04 (6:33 am) |
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still lookin fer dat part time job. I just hope it's not food service. *shudder* :cry: Man, I need to get on here more often. |
| 1 Comments |
| Well... |
| 01.08.04 (6:47 pm) |
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Everything's going great at my new job. I don't even really think of it as a job. I mean, how can it be classified as "work", when you have fun for 8 hours a day. I typeset ads, do some graphic design, work with Photoshop, Illustrator, QuarkXPress and have learned a new (to me) program called AdSpeed. Alas, there is a downside. It's 32 hours a week. So I must find some kind of part time weekend job to make ends meet. *sigh* Wish me luck. 8) |
| 5 Comments |
| I AM SO HAPPY! |
| 12.24.03 (2:46 pm) |
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[image]iSpork_106265510.gif[/image] :D :D :D :D :D :D I HAVE ANOTHER JOB! Yes, your intrepid iSpork has landed his dream job. After weeks of pins and needles, I have landed a job as a graphic designer at a newspaper. I LOVE IT! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEE! It's true, it's not who you know...it who knows you. The marketing director knew me from past work, and so called me up and got me an interview. I won!!!! Life is good. 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) (the above graphic of the dog and cat are courtesy of sinfest.net www.sinfest.net which is one of the best webcomics around) |
| 6 Comments |
| im cursed |
| 12.15.03 (12:48 am) |
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i think im cursed. lost another job. damnit. :cry: |
| 5 Comments |
| Toilet humor... |
| 12.08.03 (9:39 am) |
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Ah, nothing of note to write about today, so mebbee I'll just jot down some funny things I either heard about to do, or thought would be funny to do or say when...ahem...doing your "business" in a public restroom stall. Wait until someone comes in next to you and say things like: 1. "Corn? When did I eat corn?" 2. "Nnnnnnnggghhaaaaaarrrug! " Then drop something heavy in the toilet. 3. Do number 2 (pun intended) and drop in dry ice. The resulting fog should be interesting. 4. Do number 2 and 3 and say, "Whew! No more Mexican food for me today." 5. "You got any paper over there?" 6. Scream, "Oh God no! It's gone wild!" Then use something to squirt water over into the next stall, or better yet, lemonade. 7. "Dang! Missed again!" Then roll a wet Mr. Goodbar into the next stall. 8. Two words. Stink bomb. 9. "That's an interesting color..." 10. "No....more...CHEESE! NnnngUUUUUHHHAAA!" :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: That's all for now folks. :wink: |
| 3 Comments |
| Things you didn't want to know about me... |
| 12.04.03 (11:46 am) |
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One curious side effect with taking antibiotics, (one that I seem to forget about everytime) is thus: Antibiotics not only attack the "bad" bacteria causing the illness (in this case, tonsillitis), but also attack the "good" bacteria. Namely the ones that reside in your intestine and keep you *ahem* regular, if you know what I mean... :shock: We're talking "hershey-squirts" here folks. The turkey trots. Montezumas' revenge. :shock: Betcha wanted to know that. NOW try to scrub that image from your brain. Oh yeah, Merry Christmas, Chanukka, Kwanza, Winter Solstice... :wink: |
| 2 Comments |
| Ph3ar m3! ...n0t. |
| 12.03.03 (1:44 pm) |
:twisted:  Which Historical Lunatic Are You? From the fecund loins of Rum and Monkey. [LINE] Mwuahhahahahahahahaha! *cough cough* *gag* *ptui!* *spat* eeeewwwwwww. |
| 2 Comments |
| Ugh |
| 12.03.03 (9:20 am) |
| Tonsillitis...not fun. :cry: |
| 2 Comments |
| Ahhh, consumerism |
| 12.01.03 (9:50 am) |
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Just read in the paper all about the "post holiday" shopping, ie. the day after Thanksgiving. For those of you not in the know, this means people rush out on that day and mob the malls, shopping centers, and department stores everywhere. Sometimes they line up for hours before the store opens, just like a rock concert. :roll: When the store opens, usually a few hours earlier than normal, this gaggle of shoppers rush in to be the "first" to peruse the sales and really great discounts offered "one day only". :roll: Ok people, reality check. These stores have been marking thier merchandise up since before October. Now they offer them at a so-called sale price that is actually quite a bit above the normal price. This is common practice year-round, but especially true during the holidays. So you are paying more for crap you didn't want in the first place. Second reality check. Lining up in the wee hours of the cold morning, and even the night before, to get in somewhere is great for concert goers. Teenage concert goers. Hell, I've lined up for admission to rock concerts in my heyday. But at a Wal-Mart? For a DVD player? Get a grip you sheep! :roll: Third reality check. I had even heard of a woman getting trampled at a store opening over the weekend. Is that new fleece sweatshirt reeeeealy worth getting trampled? I know you need gifts to give this upcoming holiday, but guess what? Store do restock every so often. It's true. Really. Ah, well. 8) Such is our consumer driven society. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be in line to get a limited edition KISS bobblehead. Dude. :wink: |
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| Eeeeeeevil! |
| 11.28.03 (3:02 pm) |
Damn. I'm just not trying hard enough. Must...become...more...evil... :twisted: |
| 0 Comments |
| Turkey day |
| 11.28.03 (11:24 am) |
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Ah, another turkey day come and gone. Yea. I'm underwhelmed. On the good side I didn't let the triptophan (sp?) get the better of me, go to play some Twisted Metal 3 and on the whole had a good time. Now I've heard of some horror stories about getting together with family on the holidays, but I've honestly never experienced that. You know, Aunt Dora gets drunk and accuses Cousin Cletus of cheating on his girlfriend with a goat, ya know, the usual. But not me. I guess that's something to be thankful for. Could be worse. On the downside it's f'ing cold here, and winter hasn't even fully hit yet. :roll: Back on the plus side I have a good job that almost pays the bills (gotta sell my spleen I think) and nice people to work with. Helluva drive though. The "second" job didn't last long. I was freelancing some color ads for a grocery store. Said grocery store decided to get cheap and go with a crappy inserted flyer. Probably done by some teenager on his dads office copier for donuts or something. Clients...sheesh. They expect everything to be handed to them (read: spoonfed), perfect, done yesterday and completed for pennies. Idiots. I'm a professional and I expect to be paid as such. You don't like it? Get your nephew Binky to scrawl something on his pirated copy of photoshop. You get what you pay for numbnuts. :roll: On that topic, I should get to revamping my blog here. Also get rid of some of the javascript crap I put on. Look for changes coming soon... [LINE] I'm toying with the idea of making a trivia contest about once a week here. Giving out tBucks (can I do that? I think so) to the winner. Whatcha think? |
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| Now this... | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 11.26.03 (2:56 pm) | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Now this is me, much more than the other test. :oops: [LINE] 
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| Issues... | ||
| 11.26.03 (2:49 pm) | ||
Um.....huh? :?: |
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| 2 Comments | ||
| Woooooooooooooooooooooooo! |
| 11.24.03 (6:23 am) |
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I'm still here! Yay! 8) Haven't had time to blog lately, too busy in that damn thing called real life. (ugh!) Anywho, expect more bloggin' fun coming up! More wit and wisdom hot off the brain stem from your favorite and mine, iSpork. :lol: [LINE] One quick comment on the state of politics in this country. California....did ya learn nuttin from us Minnesotans? Yasure yabetcha. Hands up, who is going to be the [i]next[/i] steriod freak from the movie [b]Predator[/b] to be elected to public office? Huh? Well? :lol: |
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| oh crap on a stick! |
| 10.11.03 (5:37 am) |
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:shock: I now have TO MANY jobs to choose from! Crap! I've been submitting resumes and interviewing for nearly a month now. I was losing all hope of getting a good job, and almost in dispair that I would never work regularly in the graphic arts business. Well, yesterday I get a call out of the blue from a company that I had just dropped off a resume to. They weren't hiring, but I thought what the hell. Might as well. Turns out they need someone to come in 2-3 days a week on a contract basis to do Quark layouts for a huge customer. The previous person left. I said yes and for 2-3 days a week I can now do the stuff I love. But it doesn't pay the bills, as the wage is lower, and forget about benifits (medical dental). But I love it, and it's literally 2 minutes from my home by car!!! Here's the kicker... I just got an email for a job I interviewed for 2 weeks ago. They want me too! It pays more (but not much). But it's full time, benifits after 3 month trial period. However... It's nearly an hour drive from my home and it is NOT what I want as a career. It's that kind of job that I fell into a long time ago, I am good at, and happen to now have tons of experience with. CRAP!!!!!!! :shock: :shock: :shock: :? :? :? Plus, I'm waiting on word from ANOTHER job that IS what I want to do also. Waiting for a "second" interview. The biggest part of it is, I have a two kids to think of. So it looks like I will have to take the job I DONT like, and drop the one I do. This is almost worse than being unemployed. What the hell am I going to do? :? :shock: :? :shock: :? :shock: |
| 5 Comments |
| Ah, corporate politics |
| 10.10.03 (12:58 am) |
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Ok, here's the skinny on my employment status. I recently (the last 2 freakin years of my life) worked "contract" (read temp) for a new company. Great job when I started. My own office (cube, but large), close to what I was making previously, respect, a fun and fast atmosphere, and great potential for advancement and growing with the company. Little did I know things would take a turn down s@#t alley. :evil: I was hired to do many great and exciting things, at least in my view. I was self directed (for the most part). And I did one helluva job. And that's not just me tooting my own horn. My supervisor and everyone at the company was thrilled. Oooh, so what went wrong? ("the suspense is killing me, I hope it lasts") :lol: Well, company took a new turn. Suddenly, and without even asking me, I'm put into a new position. (pun intended). Think brain-dead monkey in front of a machine...push button, get food, push button, get food....duuuuuuhhhh. I lose my office, my computer, my desk, my voicemail, and am relagated to a 2'x1'x3' locker. Yes, a locker. :shock: Never mind the 2 years without a raise. Never mind the "we'll look into hiring 'contract' employees as soon as [insert crappy reason here]. :roll: Never mind the new supervisor who is everyones nightmare of a fat, red faced, highschool gym teacher with anal herpes and the need to take it out on someone. Did I mention that the above mentioned supervisor proceeded to hire all his friends from a previous company? :roll: And suprise suprise suprise, the f*cknut decides not to renew my "contract", because I don't fit the job (read helljob). And I won't even go into the office politics. Cripes, it's 2:30 am...ima goin ta bed. 'Night. |
| 1 Comments |